“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” –The Hunger Games
“It don’t take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl.” – The Little Mermaid
“Good luck finding somebody to put up with your shit for more than, like, six months. Okay? But I accept the whole package, the crazy and the brilliant. Alright? I know you’re not gonna change and I don’t want you to. It’s called accepting you for being you.” – Before Midnight
“… I know I’m old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.” – Pretty in Pink
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“She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.” – St. Elmo’s Fire
“Yes, I’m drunk. And you’re beautiful. And tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober but you’ll still be beautiful.” – The Dreamers
“If the whole damn world was to go to the dogs, as long as I had you by my side, y’know, or sittin’ by my side, or layin’ here, by my side, everything’ll be just okay. I’ve been blowing my horn for a lotta years, but lemme tell you somethin’: I ain’t nothin’ without you.” – All in the Family
“Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.” – Sex and the City
“If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn’t come back… you’re a dumbass!” – Beavis & Butt-Head
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” – Albert Einstein
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.-Emo Philips
Employees make the best dates. You don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.-Andy Warhol
Isn’t it strange — when you’re single, all you see is couples, and when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers.-Jim Gaffigan
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.-Rodney Dangerfield
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.-Mitch Hedberg
Dating a man is like flying a kite. You only need to know when to wind up the string or let it out.-Jenna Alatari
Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.-Doug Coupland
I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.-Garry Shandling
I don’t always know when someone is attracted to me, but when I do, it’s two years later.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea, I’m just no good at fishing.