Home » Best Nurses Pick Up Lines (Dirty, Funny, Cheesy)

Best Nurses Pick Up Lines (Dirty, Funny, Cheesy)

Nurses Pick Up Lines

Nurses Pick Up Lines

  • Baby you’re so sweet you’re gonna put me in DKA!
  • You really turn me on…q 2 hours.
  • Playing doctor is for kids…let’s play gynecologist!”
  • Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with an EMT.
  • Please don’t be too sweet. I might get Diabetes!
  • Fire Fighters play with their hoses, I bring the bed
  • You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
  • Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.
  • I am ADHD and you are my Ritalin, because you make me want to behave and have my attention on you.
  • I am developing astigmatism. But when I’m with you I can see clearer.
  • You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
  • Your bus or mine?

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Nursing Pick Up Lines

  • Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, its just a sparkle.
  • My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
  • Do you know that you are Sodium and I am H2O? Because wherever you go, I go.
  • Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.
  • Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?
  • I’m a medic, I know your body better then you do!
  • No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.
  • Sorry if I’m such an obsessive-compulsive, but I love the way I repeatedly tell you, “I love you! I love you! I love you!”
  • I’m used to staying up all night
  • Ever slept with an EMT? Want to?
  • Sit back and relax…I fix broken hearts.
  • I am manic-depressive on you. I calm down and cheer up when I’m with you.
  • Baby, you make me vasodilate!
  • Does this rag smell like chloroform?
  • I’m good with multiple partners
  • Your calves must be aching. Because you’ve been back-marching through my mind all day.
  • (Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don’t we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?
  • We are prepared for any rhythm
  • I need a life. Please lower your standards and go out with me.
  • You’ve got beautiful veins

Pick Up Lines for Nurses

  • Are you a nurse? Because you cured my erectile disfunction.
  • We should get some coffee… Because I’m liking you a latte.
  • We always come when we are called
  • Are you lost Ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
  • Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
  • I’m familiar with Latex and restraints
  • Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.
  • You make my dopamine levels all silly.
  • I’m the best in rapid clothing removal
  • Did you hear that? Even my heart murmurs, “I love you!”
  • I need to practice my trauma assessments. Will you be my patient?
  • On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
  • My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
  • I’m feeling a little off today. Will you turn me on?
  • Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.
  • My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.
  • I don’t want an apple a day, because I don’t want you to go away.
  • No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you like a medic can… Wanna play?
  • My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.
  • Why is it so hard to study the cardiovascular system? Because the heart is fragile and should always be handled with care.

Dirty Pick Up Lines for Nurses

  • I’m an expert in mouth-to-mouth
  • I love the way you make me vasodilate.
  • Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
  • EMTs come when people go down
  • Wanna join the code 3 club?
  • Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  • I think my vestibulocochlear nerve is damage, I keep falling for you.
  • How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?
  • If only I could fly, I would flight my ideas for you.
  • Wanna see if we can drown out the siren?
  • I’d love to do a 12 lead on you
  • Are doing valsalva maneuver on me? Because you just made my heart stop beating for a while.
  • Come into my office and take off your pants.
  • I’d like to find another doctor. Why? Because I’ve got a crush on you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?

Nurse Pick Up Lines Tinder

  • (Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?
  • Stand back, I’m a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I’ll loosen her clothes.
  • I have all sorts of protection
  • I think you have nice veins. Can I pick up your line?
  • Can I take your temperature? Because you’re looking hot today.
  • When we first met I couldn’t get you out of my mind, now I can’t get you out of my heart.
  • If you were a laser, you’d be set on “electrifying”.
  • Excuse me, I think you dropped something: My jaw.
  • I’m like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I’m gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes
  • I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.
  • When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.

Dirty Nurse Pick Up Lines

Best Nurse Pick Up Lines

  • Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.
  • Are you a pulmonary embolism? ‘Cause I can’t breathe when I’m around you.
  • If I go into cardiac arrest will you give me mouth to mouth?
  • I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.
  • Wanna play ‘Doctor’, Doctor?
  • If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
  • Do you have my other lung? Because I’ve been LUNG-ing for you.
  • I can make your heart skip a beat. No really, I’m certified to do it!
  • My body is in a RAAS every time I see you. (Renin-Angiotensin-Aldosterone System)
  • I hope you passed CPR because you’re taking my breath away
  • You have acute angina.
  • I’m no organ donor, but I’d happy to give you my heart.
  • Keep talking… I’m diagnosing you.
  • Is it just my olfactory or you just really smell good.
  • Those clothes look uncomfortable… need me to cut them off for you?
  • You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.
  • That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn’t coming from an artery.
  • Can you be my proximal because I don’t want to be distal to you.
  • Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.
  • Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
  • Whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
  • I am an organ donor, need anything?
  • Are you my SA node? I can’t live without you because you are the reason why my heart keeps beating.

Funny Nurse Pick Up Lines

Pick Up Lines To Use on Nurses

  • I can find every pulse in your body!
  • Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.
  • Hey girl, you’re like a car accident, because I can’t look away.
  • They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.
  • Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?
  • I don’t want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they’re a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.
  • Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.
  • You are my iodine, lithium, potassium, einsteinium and uranium. Because “I LiKE U”.
  • You give me premature ventricular contractions.
  • You know, I’ve been highly trained to stick things into people…
  • I have my own multi-positional bed
  • I might need life alert, because I’ve fallen in love with you and can’t get up.
  • I’ll shock the socks off you
  • Where there is a pulse there is a chance.
  • I think I’m developing tics. I just can’t help but wink at you.
  • You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
  • Medics know how to pick you up 5 different ways
  • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.