Skip to content
Home » Best Nurses Pick Up Lines (Dirty, Funny, Cheesy)

Best Nurses Pick Up Lines (Dirty, Funny, Cheesy)

    Nurses Pick Up Lines

    Nurses Pick Up Lines

    • Baby you’re so sweet you’re gonna put me in DKA!
    • You really turn me on…q 2 hours.
    • Playing doctor is for kids…let’s play gynecologist!”
    • Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with an EMT.
    • Please don’t be too sweet. I might get Diabetes!
    • Fire Fighters play with their hoses, I bring the bed
    • You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
    • Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.
    • I am ADHD and you are my Ritalin, because you make me want to behave and have my attention on you.
    • I am developing astigmatism. But when I’m with you I can see clearer.
    • You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
    • Your bus or mine?

    Don’t Miss: Anime Pick Up Lines for Funny Flirty Anime Boy and Girl

    Nursing Pick Up Lines

    • Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, its just a sparkle.
    • My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
    • Do you know that you are Sodium and I am H2O? Because wherever you go, I go.
    • Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.
    • Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?
    • I’m a medic, I know your body better then you do!
    • No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.
    • Sorry if I’m such an obsessive-compulsive, but I love the way I repeatedly tell you, “I love you! I love you! I love you!”
    • I’m used to staying up all night
    • Ever slept with an EMT? Want to?
    • Sit back and relax…I fix broken hearts.
    • I am manic-depressive on you. I calm down and cheer up when I’m with you.
    • Baby, you make me vasodilate!
    • Does this rag smell like chloroform?
    • I’m good with multiple partners
    • Your calves must be aching. Because you’ve been back-marching through my mind all day.
    • (Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don’t we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?
    • We are prepared for any rhythm
    • I need a life. Please lower your standards and go out with me.
    • You’ve got beautiful veins

    Pick Up Lines for Nurses

    • Are you a nurse? Because you cured my erectile disfunction.
    • We should get some coffee… Because I’m liking you a latte.
    • We always come when we are called
    • Are you lost Ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
    • Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
    • I’m familiar with Latex and restraints
    • Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.
    • You make my dopamine levels all silly.
    • I’m the best in rapid clothing removal
    • Did you hear that? Even my heart murmurs, “I love you!”
    • I need to practice my trauma assessments. Will you be my patient?
    • On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
    • My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
    • I’m feeling a little off today. Will you turn me on?
    • Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.
    • My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.
    • I don’t want an apple a day, because I don’t want you to go away.
    • No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you like a medic can… Wanna play?
    • My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.
    • Why is it so hard to study the cardiovascular system? Because the heart is fragile and should always be handled with care.

    Dirty Pick Up Lines for Nurses

    • I’m an expert in mouth-to-mouth
    • I love the way you make me vasodilate.
    • Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
    • EMTs come when people go down
    • Wanna join the code 3 club?
    • Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
    • I think my vestibulocochlear nerve is damage, I keep falling for you.
    • How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?
    • If only I could fly, I would flight my ideas for you.
    • Wanna see if we can drown out the siren?
    • I’d love to do a 12 lead on you
    • Are doing valsalva maneuver on me? Because you just made my heart stop beating for a while.
    • Come into my office and take off your pants.
    • I’d like to find another doctor. Why? Because I’ve got a crush on you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?

    Nurse Pick Up Lines Tinder

    • (Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?
    • Stand back, I’m a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I’ll loosen her clothes.
    • I have all sorts of protection
    • I think you have nice veins. Can I pick up your line?
    • Can I take your temperature? Because you’re looking hot today.
    • When we first met I couldn’t get you out of my mind, now I can’t get you out of my heart.
    • If you were a laser, you’d be set on “electrifying”.
    • Excuse me, I think you dropped something: My jaw.
    • I’m like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I’m gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes
    • I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.
    • When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.

    Dirty Nurse Pick Up Lines

    Best Nurse Pick Up Lines

    • Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.
    • Are you a pulmonary embolism? ‘Cause I can’t breathe when I’m around you.
    • If I go into cardiac arrest will you give me mouth to mouth?
    • I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.
    • Wanna play ‘Doctor’, Doctor?
    • If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
    • Do you have my other lung? Because I’ve been LUNG-ing for you.
    • I can make your heart skip a beat. No really, I’m certified to do it!
    • My body is in a RAAS every time I see you. (Renin-Angiotensin-Aldosterone System)
    • I hope you passed CPR because you’re taking my breath away
    • You have acute angina.
    • I’m no organ donor, but I’d happy to give you my heart.
    • Keep talking… I’m diagnosing you.
    • Is it just my olfactory or you just really smell good.
    • Those clothes look uncomfortable… need me to cut them off for you?
    • You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.
    • That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn’t coming from an artery.
    • Can you be my proximal because I don’t want to be distal to you.
    • Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.
    • Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
    • Whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
    • I am an organ donor, need anything?
    • Are you my SA node? I can’t live without you because you are the reason why my heart keeps beating.

    Funny Nurse Pick Up Lines

    Pick Up Lines To Use on Nurses

    • I can find every pulse in your body!
    • Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.
    • Hey girl, you’re like a car accident, because I can’t look away.
    • They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.
    • Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?
    • I don’t want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they’re a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.
    • Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.
    • You are my iodine, lithium, potassium, einsteinium and uranium. Because “I LiKE U”.
    • You give me premature ventricular contractions.
    • You know, I’ve been highly trained to stick things into people…
    • I have my own multi-positional bed
    • I might need life alert, because I’ve fallen in love with you and can’t get up.
    • I’ll shock the socks off you
    • Where there is a pulse there is a chance.
    • I think I’m developing tics. I just can’t help but wink at you.
    • You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
    • Medics know how to pick you up 5 different ways
    • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.